Just To See You Smile

Horses are a powerful majestic creature. They can have an overwhelming affect on you. For a very long time I rejected the horse life style. I didn't want to have anything todo with the horse. Now here I am and they are my life. The affect they can have on your spirit is incredible. When I want to go fast I can count on Lacy to run free with me. I know I can always count on Lacy and Lani to make my day better. Today I felt both of my parents there with me. This brought a sense of peace in my soul. It was amazing to feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel again. I was able to figure out how to love my parents and be okay with their choices even if I wish they would have made different ones. And for the first time in a long time I smiled a real smile. Lacy was able to bring that out in me today. No matter what it's going to be okay and I know I can always connect with my parents while I ride. 

Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye is something that I learned at a very young age. It's not an easy thing. Sometimes it feels like you have to say too many goodbyes. Saying goodbye to my siblings was one thing. I had a different experience with each one. Now we are trying to mend those goodbyes. It's not going to happen in a few days it's going to take time. Saying goodbye to my dad when he left the first time was the most excruciating pain I felt as a four year old.  The next time I said goodbye was in March of 2006 when he died. That was the second saddest day in my life. In December of 2006 I said goodbye to my normal life as my mom married a new husband and was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. I said goodbye to the little girl I used to be in 2006. The next few years I said goodbye to my childhood. I started working and helping run the ranch/farm. I was doing the adult work. In March of 2014 I said goodbye to my whole world, my mom. I said goodbye to the only world I knew.  It wasn't always bad but sometimes I wished I could be a kid and not have to have all these responsibilities at the same time I wouldn't change anything. Why you might ask. It's because it wouldn't have made me who I am today. Saying goodbye is one of the hardest things I will do in my life. Finding a way to understand all the goodbyes will drive you crazy. All you can do is try your best to be happy and keep on moving on with your life. 

XOXO 
Faleena 

Song Lyrics That I Love/One's That Describe Me

These lyrics are very true for me in a way and that's why I love this song. This song says a lot about being tough and what it's like in a way. In many ways it describes  how I am. 
A woman with a backbone is described in this song! Here's a little something into my world.
XOXO 
Faleena 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLOEqQW-Bmo


Verse 1
I wanted lace, I wanted pearls
To be a princess like the other girls
But life came hard, to my front door
And I spent my time tryin' to even out the score

Chorus
Tough, I ain't ever been nothin' but tough
All my edges have always been rough
But Jesus loves me anyway
Back off, there ain't nothin wrong with a woman that got a little backbone
Just wait til you taste her kind of love
You wanna shy little thing, a pretty little high-heel thing
Gonna cry if I don't polish up
Tough

Verse 2
The way I see it, the hands of fate
did me a favor with the cards he delt my way
Found out real fast life is a game
You're out real quick if you dont know how to play...

Chorus
Tough, I ain't ever been nothin' but tough
All my edges have always been rough
But Jesus loves me anyway
Back off, there ain't nothin wrong with a woman that got a little backbone
Just wait til you taste her kind of love
You wanna shy little thing, a pretty little high-heel thing
Gonna cry if I don't polish up
Tough

Are you serious? You ain't fooled me much. You just hangin' round so you can try your luck.

Tough, I ain't never been nothin but tough. All my edges have always been rough.
You wanna a shy little thing, a pretty little high-heel thing
Gonna cry if I don't polish up.
You know what I gotta say about that is Tough

A Little About Me

Hey! 

Here are a few things so that you know a little bit about me. I barrel race and post a lot of horse things. I like fashion of any kind. I like to read anything. I used to train horse shut have had to stop with my present circumstances so now I'm just training my two mares Lacy and Lani. I will probably post some sad things because my Mom died in March and my family is now dealing with that. I'm a steak and baked potatoes kind of girl! I can cook and bake. I love to spend time outside with my horses. I love to write and hope to share my story someday with others. 

I will post about things I'm interested in such as PTSD, combat vet's, drugs, and anything else I feel like posing! I hope you guys enjoy my musing on life!

xoxo

Faleena