Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye is something that I learned at a very young age. It's not an easy thing. Sometimes it feels like you have to say too many goodbyes. Saying goodbye to my siblings was one thing. I had a different experience with each one. Now we are trying to mend those goodbyes. It's not going to happen in a few days it's going to take time. Saying goodbye to my dad when he left the first time was the most excruciating pain I felt as a four year old.  The next time I said goodbye was in March of 2006 when he died. That was the second saddest day in my life. In December of 2006 I said goodbye to my normal life as my mom married a new husband and was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. I said goodbye to the little girl I used to be in 2006. The next few years I said goodbye to my childhood. I started working and helping run the ranch/farm. I was doing the adult work. In March of 2014 I said goodbye to my whole world, my mom. I said goodbye to the only world I knew.  It wasn't always bad but sometimes I wished I could be a kid and not have to have all these responsibilities at the same time I wouldn't change anything. Why you might ask. It's because it wouldn't have made me who I am today. Saying goodbye is one of the hardest things I will do in my life. Finding a way to understand all the goodbyes will drive you crazy. All you can do is try your best to be happy and keep on moving on with your life. 

XOXO 
Faleena